Don’t drive yourself crazy by living on people’s expectations!

What expectations do people have of you that is driving you crazy, putting so much pressure on you and causing you sleepless night? I’m here to tell you today ‘do not to kill yourself over people expectations and social standard’.

The 3 groups that are driving a lot of youth crazy with their expectations in this generation:

1. Society and social media:

In this our generation, there are a whole lot of expectations from our society and social media that is driving a lot of brilliant young people crazy, making them depressed and causing them to live a life full of unhealthy competition and envy. A lot of people are losing themselves, compromising their integrity just to match up with some social and group standards. Standards that in most cases, they do not know who set them.

So many people are living a live circumscribed by the expectations of their social circles. They are giving inn to social pressures and allowing their lives to be controlled and dictated by them. Because of these pressures, a lot of young individuals have entangled themselves in a lifestyle they cannot afford or sustain. A lifestyle that only makes their credit balance fat and their bank richer. Some youth these days copy the lifestyles of people from social media, people who are several miles away from them, who don’t even know someone is competing with them or trying to be like them. It saddens my heart when I see the desperations in the eyes of the youth to become rich, famous and noticed. Their eagerness to impress their peers and people on social media about their achievements, titles, and promotions. They go the  extra mile to display a whole lot on social media with less or no regard to their privacy, integrity and self-value, all for the compliments, the likes, the applauds and the recognition.

I have reached a point in my life where I have come to realise that most people who seem to come across as providing help to others or talking about their past struggles to encourage others on social media are doing so for the compliments and the attention. And so most of the things done or displayed on social media doesn’t surprise or impress me anymore. What now takes my attention to watch or read is when I see young individuals who uphold their integrity to do the right thing, to act the right way irrespective of the likes or no likes they will get. They don’t live their lives to impress society or social media for compliments. Young individuals who live a lifestyle  that is within their means and not by the standards of their social cycle. They set their goals according to what they can do and not what people think they should do. Young individuals whose act of kindness towards people are genuine with no publicity intentions and show compassion to others with  no selfies or videos to post on social media. They show respect to others and to themselves and understand the meaning of the word privacy, hence, they have limitations to what they display publicly and what not to display. Those are the things that I admire and it takes my attention to read or watch.

2. Families:

Apart from social media and society that put pressure on people with their high expectations, families and loved ones that most of the times, people do seek support from, also contribute to the pressures our youth are having these days. For instance there are parents who have set high standards for their children and believes the best way to motivate them to reach such goals is by creating a sense of competition among them. Some goes to the extent of even comparing their kids achievements, behaviours and performances with other kids without realizing the impact it’s having or would have on their children as they grow. They feel it’s a way to challenge, empower and toughen their child. As a result of these high expectations and standards on children, some of these children grows up with a serious competitive mind that makes them not to be satisfied at whatever they have achieved and so they go every length to get whatever they desire to have. Some children also tend out to be bitter about their parent constant comparison, making them angry at all times whenever the feel a sense of competition around them. While some people tend to give up and conclude in their minds that nothing good can come out of them since they cannot compete to meet their parent or family standards and expectations.

3. The Corporate World

The corporate world is putting a lot of pressure on the younger generation which is driving a lot of young and brilliant people crazy. A graduate have to meet certain ridiculous requirements or criteria in other to find a job. After they have gotten a job, they have to constantly prove themselves by way of overperforming just to keep their jobs, causing a lot of young people not having a normal and a healthy life. Some people can’t even enjoy a peaceful 6 hours sleep, they close their eyes to sleep while their minds are busily working. There are lots of unrealistic tasks set for people leading them to an unhealthy competition among one another. A task that the manager himself/herself cannot achieve. If a person fails to achieve it, then they say he/she is not good enough, if a person is able to achieve the task faster than expected, then the task isn’t challenging enough; leaving people feeling unworthy and hating themselves because of one silly standards and expectations. The pressure on people to outperform and expectations from employers and colleagues are among the causes of depression and stress, leading some individuals to quit their jobs, attempt suicide or travel far away and never to return.

2 ways to free yourself from the expectations family, social media and work:

If you are reading this blog and you currently find yourself in any of the three things I have mentioned, causing you  to live a fake life and you wish to get out of such a messy situation but don’t know how, then my advice to you is as follows:

  1. Set personal goals with a clear plan of approach and discipline:

Set a personal goal to change your current situation. Maybe you want to change your excessive spending or impulse buying, your unsustainable lifestyle or maybe you want to change the way and manner you spend too much time on social media per day or reduce your workload. Whatever change goal you want to set for yourself, the two things you need that would help you to achieve that goal is a clear plan of approach and discipline. Those are the major resources I believe you would need to make your goals come true. I know you probably know all about S.M.A.R.T goals and the meaning to those acronyms and how to apply them but, if you create your smart goals beautifully on paper and you do not have discipline to keep working on them, or a plan of approach to follow them, then I can promise that your are going to end up at the same stage by end of the year, feeling miserable and even worse than your current situation.

2. Be selective and mindful on whom you seek consultation from:

When you are working on your goals, be mindful about the kind of people you discuss your plans with for support and advise. Getting advise from families, friends and loved ones are good but, it shouldn’t be a form of advise that makes you feel pressured, stress and horrible to think your goal isn’t good enough or unattainable. Discuss with people who will help provide you with solutions to every scrutiny or criticism they raise, and not with those who will only criticize you and not provide any solution or help.

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