Working with a bully.

Bullies are not only found in schools or homes, they also exist in our work places. I was once a victim of work place bullying during my youth service. My bully, was my service coach and these are some of the things he did:

Anytime there is a project to be done, he gives the bigger part of the task to me to do. He only shows up to assist when it’s getting to the finishing line, he reviews, add few points and present it as his work; taking all the credit and recognition. I discussed his behavior with a colleague as I was afraid to tell to his face. What the colleague said was “Safira you should be happy to be given lot of work to do, don’t talk about it, just gain your skills and leave”. Each time we go to meetings and I come up with an idea, he either rubbish it and make it seem irrelevant or say “Safira this is already in the pipeline, we are working on it”, which in most cases, isn’t. As a service personnel, I didn’t have much say and couldn’t get my feelings across as, my bully was good at phrasing his stories; making him look right all the time. There were instances I had to apologize for voicing my opinion at meetings, why, because he thought the best way was to first discuss with him before, bringing it up in the presence of senior managers.
Since I couldn’t protest to his bullying tactics, I resigned. That wasn’t the best way I should have handled it but, I did so due to frustration and intimidation.

Most of us are working and living with bullies. They come in different forms, mine was a verbal bully who made me feel incompetent at my job. Others are emotional and mental bullies. Whichever form your bully is, don’t be like me and walk away out of frustration. It will make them live in their high horses pridefully, feeling right, and you being the loser. Don’t be intimidated by their actions, face them and do not consent to their behavior; it’s not a bad thing to protest to bullies.
Avoid the tendency to apologise to them, they can be smart to make you feel guilty that your actions were wrong. Do not apologize to give them more room to keep bullying you.

If you have any other ways on how to handle bully’s in school, work place or at home. Please share in your comments so others can learn from it. Let’s share to inspire each other πŸ€—πŸ€—.

5 thoughts on “Working with a bully.

  1. Nice piece πŸ‘ there’s always bullies everywhere around.. not my style to confront them. I think the dutch are good at confrontation. I just ignore n leave as well 😊

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  2. Very inspirational. I had similar experience @ work where she will make you do all the stupid jobs from fetching of water to anything. I remember she will go to toilet whenever she comes to work & will go like go check if the place is OK till one day i told her am not the kind of person who she can send me to go do that for her & only for her to say “everything you have something to say”. If you continue like this you always have issues with your husband then i got furious & told her things nobody has ever told her. She came to me to apologized the next day since then all the silly things she does. She has stopped one time & people were praising me for putting her in her place. For security service too “yes sir ” you must obey before you complained. Ever since i placed her to where she belongs everyone has his or her peace.

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    1. Really insightful, indeed with those in security service it’s obey before you complain. It takes lot of guts to complain before you obey. I admire your confidence MariamπŸ˜‰.

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  3. Most employees are demotivated due to the fact that their previous effort at work places are not appreciated .Your manager will use your work as input in his /her reporting in their line of duty and will not acknowledge your support and always looking for ways to discredit your great contributions.Our Bosses must learn to say a big thank you to their Team.A form of motivation to employees.

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