Bullies are not only found in schools or homes, they also exist in our work places. I was once a victim of work place bullying during my youth service. My bully, was my service coach and these are some of the things he did:
Anytime there is a project to be done, he gives the bigger part of the task to me to do. He only shows up to assist when it’s getting to the finishing line, he reviews, add few points and present it as his work; taking all the credit and recognition. I discussed his behavior with a colleague as I was afraid to tell to his face. What the colleague said was “Safira you should be happy to be given lot of work to do, don’t talk about it, just gain your skills and leave”. Each time we go to meetings and I come up with an idea, he either rubbish it and make it seem irrelevant or say “Safira this is already in the pipeline, we are working on it”, which in most cases, isn’t. As a service personnel, I didn’t have much say and couldn’t get my feelings across as, my bully was good at phrasing his stories; making him look right all the time. There were instances I had to apologize for voicing my opinion at meetings, why, because he thought the best way was to first discuss with him before, bringing it up in the presence of senior managers.
Since I couldn’t protest to his bullying tactics, I resigned. That wasn’t the best way I should have handled it but, I did so due to frustration and intimidation.
Most of us are working and living with bullies. They come in different forms, mine was a verbal bully who made me feel incompetent at my job. Others are emotional and mental bullies. Whichever form your bully is, don’t be like me and walk away out of frustration. It will make them live in their high horses pridefully, feeling right, and you being the loser. Don’t be intimidated by their actions, face them and do not consent to their behavior; it’s not a bad thing to protest to bullies.
Avoid the tendency to apologise to them, they can be smart to make you feel guilty that your actions were wrong. Do not apologize to give them more room to keep bullying you.
If you have any other ways on how to handle bully’s in school, work place or at home. Please share in your comments so others can learn from it. Let’s share to inspire each other 🤗🤗.